


Good Enough

by amyuh (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe-Uni, Eating Disorder, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 03:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/amyuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has an eating disorder and Harry just wants to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> it's just gone after midnight and i hope you guys like this :) i have another one shot coming tomorrow and then my chaptered stuff getting updated monday and tuuuuesday.  
> also, i'll fix any mistakes in the morning. xx

Louis' at the diner with Niall, working on an essay for one of his classes, when Harry comes over to their booth. 

"Hey Ni. What's up?" Harry asks. 

"Nothin', just hanging with Louis here. Lou, this is Harry. Harry, Lou." Louis looks up at Harry, and he's rather impressed. Harry has brown curly hair and green eyes, and the way that he's smiling at Louis makes his dimples pop out. He's wearing just a plain white v-neck with black skinny jeans and white converse. Louis takes notice of his collarbones and what appears to be some sort of a bird tattoo across them.

"Nice to meet ya, Lou." 

"Yeah, you too." Louis goes back to writing his essay, not trying to get distracted by Harry, who has taken to sitting down across from him, next to Niall. They start talking about some mutual friend they have, Louis can't be bothered to pay attention. 

A waitress walks by with 2 bacon and cheese hamburgers, and a massive load of fries, and Louis follows them with a hungry gaze. He thinks he might be drooling. He hasn't eaten since yesterday afternoon.

"Hungry?" Harry's grinning at him again, and Louis' known Harry all of seven minutes and the guy hasn't stopped smiling once.

"Erm, no. No, just.. people watching." Harry nods his head like he understands what Louis means. Like he actually people watches all the time. The conversation between the three of them lull before Harry starts asking Louis about his major, and what the essay he's writing is about, and just random things he can think of. Louis asks all of the questions back to him, and after a while, a waitress come up to them and asks if they'd like to order anything. 

Harry pulls out a menu, and looks at it for minute before ordering a plate of nachos. 

"Figure we could just share some, y'know?" He says when she walks away. Louis is kind of frustrated because Harry brought his backpack with him, but he doesn't look like he's going to be doing homework anytime soon, and not only are his looks distracting enough, he just ordered one of Louis' favorite foods. Which he can't eat.

Several minutes later, Louis has another body paragraph done, and Harry and Niall are back to talking about some band playing at the pub down the street this weekend. Harry invites Louis, but before Louis can respond, Niall answers for him.

"Lou doesn't drink. He's a ballet dancer." Niall smirks over to Louis, and Harry just gives them a confused look, wondering what's the big deal about Louis ballet dancing. 

"Niall's just being a prat. I took _one_ ballet class my first year here, and Niall seems to not be able to let it go." Louis tries not to talk about his time as a ballet dancer, because that particular class is the reason he hasn't eaten in 36 hours. He wasn't sure how he got signed into that class, but he did, and while he was there, the teacher was always giving him shit about his weight, saying that his thighs were too thick, and his hips were too wide, and his stomach was too flabby. 

At first, he thought she was just being a pretentious bitch, but when he got home that day, he stripped down in front of the mirror, and grabbed at all of his extra skin. He didn't like what he saw. He'd always thought that he was perfect healthy, not caring what anyone thought, but every time he walked into that classroom, he would get this look from the other dancers, that just showed him how much he didn't deserve to be there. He never got to work with a partner, because everyone else would have rather worked alone than work with him. 

"Okay? So, if you're _not_ a ballet dancer, then why don't you drink?" If Louis were being honest, he would tell Harry it was because alcohol had a lot of calories in it, and last time he got drunk he ate more food than he'd eaten in a whole week, in one sitting. And, also because the short time that he was a ballet dancer, his teacher went over a bunch of slide shows, telling them reasons why dancers shouldn't drink, and after a few months of being sober, Louis' skin cleared up and he lost five pounds so he decided he didn't need alcohol. He'd never tell anyone that, though.

"Just, never really been much of a drinker." He settles for, instead. Niall's giving him a look, like he knows that Louis' lieing because Niall's known Louis for forever, and Louis used to actually be a heavy drinker, but Niall knows better than to call Louis out in front of Harry. Luckily, the waitress chose that moment to come back with the nachos, and when she sets them down, Louis can feel his mouth watering and his stomach rumbling. 

Harry and Niall both grab for a chip, the cheese stretching out all delicious like, the meat and salsa smelling like pure heaven to Louis.

"You can some, you know?" Harry says, looking at Louis a little worriedly.

"Uh, no t-thanks. I actually gotta go. I'll see you tonight, Niall, and i'll see you around, Harry?" The curly haired boy just looks at him a little strangely, before smiling and nodding his head. 

"Yeah, sure. See y'round." Louis packs up all of his stuff and gets out of there as fast as he can. He knows he just made a right fool of himself, but he couldn't risk eating those nachos. Especially in front of Harry. He'd probably think Louis was some fat cow with no self control. He'd never want to be with a guy like that. 

Louis settles for going to the library because he has a class in 45 minutes and he doesn't feel like going home. He shares a flat with Niall, who always keeps them heavily stocked with crisps, and donuts and every other junk food under the sun, and Louis can't risk going back there.

He finishes his essay with 10 minutes to spare, and he's starting to walk to his class when he gets a text from an unknown number.

 _Hey, it's Harry. Ni gave me your number. See you around. ;) .xx_ Louis starts blushing, and really has no idea what he's supposed to reply to that with, so he settles for just saving the number and locking his phone before stepping into his psychology class. 

-

It's been a week since he met Harry, and they've been texting non stop. Louis was at the pub with Niall, checking out some of the bands that him and Harry'd been talking about at the diner. He thinks that bands he's seen so far were pretty good, but it's 9:50 at night, and Louis has a 8:30 class in the morning, one that he really can't miss. He's one of those people that absolutely needs their eight hours, and he's about to tell Niall he's going to head home, when he sees a familiar mop of curls. He's about to go over there and say hi, before he sees that Harry's actually making out with someone. A girl.

He's got her pressed into the wall, hands resting on her hips. Her slim, skinny hips. From what Louis can see, she's dressed in a tight black dress, and she has blond hair and an obvious fake tan. Louis thinks he's going to be sick, because _of course_ Harry is straight. What the fuck was he thinking? And besides, even if Harry was gay, what would he want with a fatty like Louis? He'd take off Louis' shirt and then run the other direction. Too disgusted with the sight of his muffin top to even want to go further. 

Louis feels like he's going to be sick, so he says goodbye to a confused Niall, before running home. When he gets there, his shirt sticking to him with sweat, he chugs a glass of water before stripping down in front of the toilet, and throwing up the half of a granola bar he'd eaten earlier. It took a while for him to get it out, as he ate it much earlier, but he got it out, and afterwards, he took a shower and layed in bed, willing himself not to be disgusted by himself.

-

It's not like Louis was purposely avoiding Harry, not really. He'd been too busy with course work and going to the gym to worry about texting Harry back. It's been three weeks since the night at the pub, and also three weeks since he last saw Harry. Well, he saw Harry a few weeks back at a cafe, eating a pastry, and Louis had turned around and walked out before Harry could get the chance to see him. 

It's inevitable that Louis could avoid Harry forever, because a few days later when he's at the diner with Niall, Harry comes up and takes a seat next to Niall. He eyes Louis carefully, before taking a sip of Louis' untouched water. 

It's silent for a few minutes, and Niall gets up and leaves, muttering something about a class he has to get to. Louis really wants to punch Niall for leaving him with Harry, because Harry looks determined. It's quiet between the two of them, until Harry grabs Louis hand, stopping his writing.

"Lou, why've you been avoiding me?" Harry asks. And he looks so hurt, that Louis feels like a jack ass. 

"I haven't! I've just been busy, I told you that, Haz." Louis knows he's doing a shitty job at trying to convince Harry, but it's worth a shot. 

"Lou. You and I both know that's bullshit. C'mon. What's wrong? I know somethings bothering you. Have I done something?" _Yes_ Louis thinks. _You're fucking brown curls, and green eyes and dimples and everything else of yours that perfect._

"No." Louis lies easily. It sounds too casual, even for Louis. Harry might know him better than Louis'd thought. Harry reaches into his backpack, and pulls out something that Louis can't make out. 

"Louis. I want you to eat this granola bar for me." He slides it across the table so it's in front of Louis. Louis' eyes go wide, and his stomach drops. Harry knows. He has to know. How could he not know? 

"I'm... I'm not hungry, Harry." And that's a lie, too. He hasn't eaten since yesterday morning, and even then it was only half an apple and a glass of water. 

"Really? I'm pretty sure you could manage to eat a little granola bar." Louis starts looking everywhere but Harry. He glances down at the granola bar, and dammit. It's one of those Quaker chewy granola bars. The ones covered in chocolate (which is Louis' actual weakness. Chocolate is.) Harry knows this, too. He must have had this whole thing planned out. 

Louis feels faint. He stares down at the granola bar before reluctantly picking it up, and probably eating it a little too fast for his liking. Harry takes out another granola bar, this one with peanut butter chips, and slides it across the table to Louis, which he eats without a second thought. 

It's a few seconds after he's done eating that he realizes what he did. He wants to run to the bathroom and throw it up, but there's no way Harry would let him do that. The curly haired boy just looks satisfied before picking up his pencil and finishing some of his home work. 

-

If Harry thought Louis was avoiding him before, he definetley knew Louis was avoiding him now. They hadn't seen each other in so long, Louis had lost count. He'd been getting at least ten text messages a day from Harry, all of which he deleted. 

Louis was embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Embarrassed that he'd eaten like a pig in front of Harry, and ashamed that he didn't have at least a tiny bit of self control. When he got home that night from the diner with Harry, he stepped on the scale, and he immediately wanted to go throw up, but he didn't. He just took a quick shower and layed down in bed before he could change his mind. 

-

It was Friday night, and again, he was working on an essay. He had the bachelor on for background noise, because Niall had just left to Liam's house, and the house being dead silent gave Louis the creeps. He was dressed in his grey sweatpants and one of Harry's jumpers he'd borrowed a month of two ago. 

He's watching Brad chose between three girls when he hears a knock at the door. He has a feeling he knows who it's gonna be, but he hopes he's wrong. Just this once. 

When he opens the door, he sees Harry standing there, wearing dark blue jeans, a plaid shirt and beanie on his head, looking perfect as always. Louis wants to shut the door and pretend he never answered it in the first place, but Harry's already walking into the house, standing the doorway, waiting for Louis to close the door. They stare at each other for a few minutes, before Harry finally says something. 

"Whens the last time you ate, Louis?" Louis rolls his eyes because, _ugh, this conversation again._ He counts in head the last time he ate, and he's impressed to admit that he ate this morning. He had half a banana. 

"I ate a few hours ago, Harry. Is that all you came here to ask? I'm fine, and if you don't mind, I have homework to do." Louis goes to walk towards to couch, but Harry puts his hand on Louis' chest, stopping his movements. Louis flinches away because he doesn't want Harry to feel all the excess skin he has there. 

"Louis. You're not fine, and I know you're not. Why don't you eat?" He looks so genuinely concerned, Louis wants to crawl up and die because he doesn't deserve someone as caring as Harry in his life. 

"I eat all the time, Harry!" His voice comes out a little too high pitched, and he winces, because in no way is he being convincing. 

"Lou. I've known you for like, five months, and I've only seen you eat like, three times. Besides, I can practically see your ribs through your shirt, and you look like you're going to wither away any second. I'm not stupid. I can put the pieces together." Louis feels like he's about to cry because no one's ever mentioned anything about him not eating, not Niall or his mum, or his sisters... no one. He wants to know why Harry cares so much, but he can't form the words. 

He hasn't actually slept more than four hours a night since he stopped talking to Harry, and he hasn't been eating, and he's been stressed over his finals, he just lets it all out. >

He falls forwards into Harry's arms, who's standing there waiting for it. He puts his arms around Louis' waist, and Louis' too sad to want to flinch away. Harry's arms a warm and welcoming and he smells like cinnamon and cologne, and Louis just wants to bundle himself into Harry and stay there forever. 

He's sobbing when he speaks into Harry's chest. 

"I'm sorry. I just.. I hate myself so much. I'm not good enough, my thighs rub together and my stomach is flabby and my hips are too wide and nobody loves me and I just feel like shit all the time and..-" He brakes off, crying more into Harry's shirt. Most of his words were mashed together, and he doesn't think Harry could fully understand him and he's pretty sure Harry's going to have a huge snot stain on his shirt when this is over, but Harry just looks down at Louis, wiping away his tears and leaning down to kiss him. It's soft and sweet and long, and when he pulls away, he whispers, 

"You're perfect, Lou." 

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what you think? :)  
> also feel free to follow me on tumblr - breezystylinson.tumblr.com


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